I'M GONNA PASS COLLEGE (8 days left)

I've submitted all of my assignments (aside from the ever-confusing tk-20 student teaching binder), and received an "outstanding" or "satisfactory" on all of them, and so, if all goes as planned, I will pass student teaching! And graduate! YEAH!

The hilight of my clothing rebellion thus far:

Job applications on job applications on job applications

If anyone knows of openings or possible employment opportunities beginning in January, please let me know!

Update on a sweet child.

Do you remember my sweet girl that I told you about, whose brother passed away recently? She was the one playing in the wheel chair? Well, on that day I felt as though I may have missed an opportunity to reach out to her, and I was worried that the chance may not come again - BUT! Hallelujah, today is the day of the open door!!

My Theatre II class is currently finishing a Musical Theatre unit in which they are required to sing 16-32 bars of a musical theatre song (preparation for auditions, should they ever be asked to sing... could I possibly say "Musical Theatre" one more time in this sentence?) Practical, certainly. The students were allowed to choose any musical theatre song that they like, pending approval from me. This student, I remember, actually on the day when she was rolling around in the wheelchair, had a particularly difficult time choosing a song, but on that day I encouraged her to choose any song that she loved, and was passionate about, and I was sure that it would become the right choice.

I believe I told you, too, that she had previously asked me if it was okay to sing the song to someone who is dead. So, I had a feeling that this was coming, but I seemed to have forgotten all about it - but yesterday, the students had to perform the lyrics to their song as a monologue, to demonstrate acting choices that they will then transfer to their song on Friday. And let me tell you - hers was moving. I mean, really. I had read the lyrics to her song prior, but to hear her speak the words - with such truth, such honesty, such vulnerability - beautiful.

Then, today I was looking through her paperwork as I was grading the assignments, and she had written me a note - "Please don't think I'm crazy for singing to someone who is dead - I'm not crazy." No, sweet heart. You're not.

In reading her analysis, she confessed so many thoughts and struggles, and to tell the truth, it was more of a journal than a homework assignment - and I am so, so grateful. I was not sure how to approach her about it, but I did tell her that she's not crazy - because she is not. And I wrote on her assignment that her brother is a perfect scene partner for this song. Because he is.

After school today, I was helping another student figure out timing for her song, and I asked the few who were left waiting for their parents if they wanted to sing through their songs for me as well. This student said yes immediately, and performed a beautiful, beautiful, rendition of Patterns from Closer Than Ever. I have never heard the recording from the musical, but honestly I could not imagine anyone else singing it now. The maturity and love that came pouring out of that 15-year-old girl was just heartbreaking... and inspiring. "Filling" may be the only truly suitable word for how I feel.

On Friday (or perhaps Monday) she will be performing for the rest of the class - and I can't wait to thank her for her heart. To tell her that it is so beautiful and powerful to use her story and her love for her brother to make music - to make art. And that, my friends, is what this is all about. That is why we are here. That is why the arts are important - because they are a way for us to fill in the gaps in our souls, to fill them up with music and life, and to pour it out onto others. 

The arts are important, because they allow us to live. And they allow us to sing - no matter what comes, we can still sing. 

And sing, we will, sweet child. Sing, we will.

Live in Love

Today I told a child to get control of his booty, to which he replied "That is the greatest compliment I have ever received!"
Close call.

Also, today I took a student's shoe in exchange for allowing him to borrow the dry erase marker. I put it on my foot, and he spent the next 10 minutes looking for it - even after I asked him if he wanted it back, to which he replied "No, I can find it myself." - EVEN AFTER he sat next to me, with my foot crossed over my opposite knee, discussing the cut for his musical audition piece. This was magical.

These days are the happiest days.

Perspective.

A day may be a challenge, but it can never be bad when it begins with one student texting another, "Want to hang out with L.L.Vine this morning?"

Ever-thankful.

I am blessed.

Something really wild happened today. Well, it actually began last week. Let me go back.

One of my students has had a life worthy of a lifetime movie. At fifteen years old, the things that girl has seen are more than anyone should have to bear. And it goes back beyond that, even, her mother's story is truly incredible and full of events that seem as random as anything, both good and bad, but somehow all fall into the world of one little family. And I am constantly amazed and awed by the grace of this girl, my student, to carry herself through each and every day, carrying burdens like she does, and smiling - genuinely allowing her joy to shine through - with every step she takes. This girl is a blessing.

Last week, my students had Commedia Del'Arte performances. This one group in particular used a wheel chair as a prop in their scene. I honestly didn't think anything of it, because I remember when I was younger, we used to have an old wheel chair sitting in the garage, which we occasionally used in performances. I guess my mom had just accumulated it along the way somewhere, it didn't seem the least bit odd to me. But on Friday, after the performances, I was sitting in the auditorium after school with this girl, who was waiting for her father to come pick her (and the wheelchair) up from school. And she started to tell me how they got it...

I don't remember all the details - it belonged to a friend or a relative, and eventually got passed down the line to this girl's mother - for her brother. Her brother had autism, and as she explained, he would get tired of standing after about an hour at the Fair, or other such events, so they would wheel him around in the chair so that he could enjoy the whole day with the family. At this point, I could remember hearing something about her brother, but I became afraid to ask too many questions... you know when you can tell that there is something deeper going on, and it's almost like you either have to ask a question to get the person to keep talking, or just nod with understanding, and let it go? Thinking back, I wonder if perhaps she had wanted me to ask more. I do wish I had - she could have always said no - and what if this was my opportunity to really reach out to someone? I'm thankful that at least we have more time.

Then, yesterday, I was teaching about how to act through a song, and we talked about choosing an imaginary scene partner, who you are singing to. After class, this girl came up to me and asked if it would be okay if her scene partner is someone who is dead. Knowing some of her story, I told her that of course that would be alright (and very powerful, and well-connected, I'm sure). Again, I didn't think much of it after the fact, and ended the conversation pretty simply like that.

Today, at lunch, another one of the teachers began talking about how one of the mothers on her Booster Club was suddenly out of town and couldn't help with decorating for a concert. She was frustrated about this, but luckily one of the volunteers knew what was going on - she said it came up suddenly, that this woman was flying up to complete the process of donating her son's brain for research on autism. That they were suddenly able to accept the brain, and that the woman felt like this was her final closure, to travel with it, and to hand it over to the researchers. And, of course, this woman is my student's mother.

First, I think it is so noble and generous to donate her son's brain for research, and I earnestly hope and believe that something good will come out of it - that perhaps they will make a new discovery that will help us to better-communicate with people whose brains are wired differently from our own. That maybe, someone's life will be more full of love because of this woman's sacrifice. It was at this point that I mentioned to my cooperating teacher that my student had been talking to me about her brother a little bit last week, and I heard something I never expected to hear - 

That's really good. She's never really talked about it. Even when he passed away, she didn't seem to process much. I'm glad to hear she's talking about it now.

And she's talking about him - about her older brother, her 18 year old brother, who passed away a year ago this summer - to me. I am honored, and humbled, and sincerely blessed to have this child in my life. And I truly lack understanding to see why she would open up to me, of all people. And I am so, so thankful.

So, what are the next steps? I don't want to press for information; I don't want to ask for more, not unprecedented anyway... I just hope I didn't miss an opportunity - the moment when she wanted to open up, and share more, and I was too afraid to ask. 

And yet, even if it goes no further, this little glimpse into the heart of my student - my student who shares her heart, and pours out her heart into everyone else, and everything that she does, every day... to think - that a piece of that pure, and beautiful heart was opened up to me.

This is why I love what I do.

I am truly blessed.