It's late. I mean late-late. But I promised myself I would do something good for at least 15-30 minutes, at least once a day. Of course I did that not knowing that I would be called into work tonight, and as we all realize before too many years on this planet, things don't always go exactly as planned. I intended to go for a run today, but instead, since it is late-late, I will write here. Writing is good for me. It is a release. Writing might be good for everyone - you should try it and let me know what you find out.
Things have been extraordinarily hard lately. I want to tell the truth. Maya Angelou talks about no greater than pain than a story locked inside - I want to tell my story. Things are hard. Graduating from college means big changes, or seems to mean big changes, but sometimes our plans are met by a heavy hand, and the change that we expected is not the change that we received. Additionally, I feel such a longing for those places I call Home - the many wooden bunks of RF, and the shoe-filled mattresses of UGA. Take me home. Please, God, take me home.
I am missing my families, I am missing my sanity, I am missing my sanctuary, and I am missing my God. I need a resurrection.
I am looking for guidance. I am looking for strength. And I am looking to the wind - but this will not satisfy. The human heart can only truly be satisfied by the One who knows it best, the One who made it. So what is the problem, and what is taking me so long?
I am tired. I feel short on time. I am working 75 hours this week, which adds up to roughly half of the hours that actually exist in a week at all. And I don't know why. To what gain? Am I doing the right things? Am I in the right places? Where do I belong?
My soul needs mountains to grow - but where do I go?
Thoughts on a muggy Monday night.
(It is not Monday, but it might as well be.)
Tomorrow after school, I will sleep. Praise the Lord for that.
Friday will be extraordinarily difficult, as the team leaves for Uganda without me. Still two weeks left of school. Why? I want to go home. I want to attend Sam's wedding. I am HUNGRY.
Avoid this with all of your heart - may you be ever fed.
- Ever-faithful in the fight.
