Magic in the Making

Little did I know when I made my New Years Resolution how wonderfully and tragically prophetic it would be.

Thus far in 2014, I have said goodbye to friends and family on the east coast and packed my bags to move to San Diego, California - then, within 12 hours subsequently unpacked my bags and said "hello, again" to those same friends. I have applied and interviewed for several jobs, been offered a few, turned down some, got one job (without understanding that I had the job), been told I could start, and that I could start, and that I could start (and still couldn't start), found out my paperwork was lost, started another part-time job, auditioned, was cast, and began rehearsing for a play, found out my paperwork was found, attended a new substitute teacher orientation, showed up for my first day of subbing, and was told to go back home. I have made friends, lost friends, remembered friends, enjoyed spending time with family, been driven crazy by spending a LOT of time with family, and been thankful in each and every moment. If I had any idea what was going to come next, I would surely tell you - and if you have any idea what is going to come next, I surely hope that you would tell me.

This seems to be a season of patience. Or, perhaps, impatience at times.... often, maybe. But it is also a season of growth - the kind of growth that happens underground, before you see the seed turn into a sprout, turn into a flower. I am the seed in the fertile soil, buzzing and pulsing with energy and light, preparing for the emergence into the big, bright world that lies ahead. And, I have a feeling, it is going to take a big push to get me to begin. But right now, all focus lies on the Magic in the Making.

Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
[Isaiah 40:28]

Ramblings for a Snowy Saturday

As far as the substitute teaching is concerned, things did not go as planned. My paperwork was temporarily misplaced, although I assume it has been found now, because I have finally been invited to the new sub orientation, which was scheduled for a snow day, and therefore cancelled. Sometime on Monday or Tuesday, I suppose, I will be getting an email about when the rescheduled orientation will take place. However, in order to complete the paperwork for the orientation, I have to find a doctor to sign off on a health examination form, which will likely take more than one day to arrange.

Now, the trouble here is the fact that I have also started a new part-time job working as a cashier. Glamorous? Maybe not. But I like it so far. I put in my schedule assuming I would not be subbing, so for the next few weeks I have already made commitments to that job - yesterday I put in a new schedule for March assuming that I WILL be subbing (but who knows if that will really even come through?!) It is a bit frustrating at times, because I am doing my best to juggle several things at once, without really knowing all the information about some of those things - namely, the substitute teaching. But I am just hoping that the timing will work out alright, and the overlap between the subbing, second job, and the show I'm working on will be minimized : ) That being said, March is going to be a challenging month.

The other thing that I wanted to talk about in this post was - you guessed it - Valentine's Day. I have a little bone to pick with the universe about this day. Okay, first of all, this is NOT female appreciation day. Like, have you seen any men receiving flowers and cards and chocolates and things? I haven't! But WHY? This really irritates me. First of all, no, I didn't do anything for Valentine's Day yesterday, except receive my diploma and a really lovely unexpected letter. But I thought about it! And if I was gonna go see a man, I sure as heck wasn't gonna show up empty handed. Show people you love them - however you do it best, do it. Don't expect to receive. I also saw this quote about how the quality of your life is not measured by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others...?! Well, my friend, that is not in your control, and I beg to disagree. Love - as much, as often, and as generously as you can. Even more, when you think you can't. (Loving yourself counts, too!) I'll say it again, and again:

Do everything in Love.

Please, please, do everything in love.

Friends, something is happening in this world. People think it's not right for a girl to cut off all her hair, and attack a boy for watching My Little Pony. We keep things for ourselves, and deprive the needy of their most basic human rights. We make ourselves busy busy busy to distract our minds from the brokenness that is going on all around us. We whine about everyone getting married and having kids, and yet we struggle to even love on the least of these. What kind of world are we living in?

We live in a broken world. We live in a broken world. We live in a broken world - OF COURSE we live in a broken world, but what are YOU going to DO about it? We are broken people, redeemed by Grace that we don't deserve - USE IT. Just love on someone today. If you do anything, just do it in love - do everything in love.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Cor 4:18

Thank goodness.