Sunday, June 15, 2014

Adventurous Living - or Lessons in Saying "Yes!"

This month has been one long lesson in adventurous living! I must preface this with: I have no idea what I'm doing. "The only thing you really need to know is that you really know nothing." - True!!! (These are words of wisdom from an unbelievably cool friend).

I've accepted a job. It's the last job I ever thought I'd have and the first job I'd ever choose at this exact time. They pursued me, they trust me, they want me to be at this school. I am blessed.

I put effort and time into building and fostering relationships - finally. I've lived in this city for almost a year now, and thinking I would soon be leaving I did not invest enough valuable time into others around me. Now, since I've made plans to stay, I am beginning to value my relationships and my surroundings - thank the Lord, it's about time. I was tired of feeling sad. Having strong bonds with the people and the things around you allow a person to grow deep roots, and that is what I want. I've always said that I want to have as many homes as possible, and then I will know that I have lived a full life. I am on the way to making this place one of them.

I went on a freaking date - scary, yes, successful, debatable, but the point is that I went. When is the last time that happened??

I found a roommate, and we found a townhome that we like, and will hopefully be able to make everything official tomorrow. You know, it is always difficult to know what might be the best thing to do, the best job to take, the best home to rent. Sometimes you just have to make choices. I could easily talk myself out of this one - the outside doesn't look nice enough, the neighborhood isn't wealthy, the area around it isn't super built up - but the truth is that I will have what I need. And for that, I am thankful.

Things are looking up, friends. Sometimes saying "Yes" is enough to turn anything around.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Climbing Uphill

It's late. I mean late-late. But I promised myself I would do something good for at least 15-30 minutes, at least once a day. Of course I did that not knowing that I would be called into work tonight, and as we all realize before too many years on this planet, things don't always go exactly as planned. I intended to go for a run today, but instead, since it is late-late, I will write here. Writing is good for me. It is a release. Writing might be good for everyone - you should try it and let me know what you find out.

Things have been extraordinarily hard lately. I want to tell the truth. Maya Angelou talks about no greater than pain than a story locked inside - I want to tell my story. Things are hard. Graduating from college means big changes, or seems to mean big changes, but sometimes our plans are met by a heavy hand, and the change that we expected is not the change that we received. Additionally, I feel such a longing for those places I call Home - the many wooden bunks of RF, and the shoe-filled mattresses of UGA. Take me home. Please, God, take me home.

I am missing my families, I am missing my sanity, I am missing my sanctuary, and I am missing my God. I need a resurrection.

I am looking for guidance. I am looking for strength. And I am looking to the wind - but this will not satisfy. The human heart can only truly be satisfied by the One who knows it best, the One who made it. So what is the problem, and what is taking me so long?

I am tired. I feel short on time. I am working 75 hours this week, which adds up to roughly half of the hours that actually exist in a week at all. And I don't know why. To what gain? Am I doing the right things? Am I in the right places? Where do I belong?

My soul needs mountains to grow - but where do I go?

Thoughts on a muggy Monday night.

(It is not Monday, but it might as well be.)

Tomorrow after school, I will sleep. Praise the Lord for that.

Friday will be extraordinarily difficult, as the team leaves for Uganda without me. Still two weeks left of school. Why? I want to go home. I want to attend Sam's wedding. I am HUNGRY.

Avoid this with all of your heart - may you be ever fed.

- Ever-faithful in the fight.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

A Wrinkle In Time

Yesterday was a very long day. Let me post some updates first:

I started subbing on Wednesday! So far so good, although the Speech class is a bit challenging, just in terms of the number of students, the fact that it is right after lunch, and right before dismissal. Plus the fact that they haven't really done anything so far this semester, and now I am here to make them actually treat the class like it is a real thing. The two sections of Honors English III are so different from one another, but both good. As always, I am ever-thankful.

I did not teach yesterday, because I had already been scheduled to work at my other job, at Dick's Sporting Goods, before I got the invitation to the substitute teaching orientation. I was able to change my schedule beginning on the 1st of March, but I didn't want to call out of work for the whole day, so I just told the school that I was unavailable, and they said that it would be okay.

So, back to yesterday, I worked at DSG, in the apparel department, for seven hours. A seven hour shift is not that bad, but I realized that I like working Front End a lot more than I liked Apparel. Even though I was able to take on little projects like organizing a display of Underarmour T-shirts, or creating the headband display, I spent a good amount of time wandering around the store trying to figure out where the returned items or dressing room left-behinds belonged. After seven hours of this, preceded by two days of waking up at 5:25am and working/rehearsing straight through until 9:30pm, I was exhausted! But, after I got off work at 5pm, I only had a bit of time before rehearsal began at 7pm. I took myself to Panera for dinner and treated myself to a Chai Tea, thinking it might wake me up - it didn't - and then made my way toward RLT for rehearsal.

When I was almost to the theatre, I saw something that really turned my heart upside-down. I imagine this happens to everyone, but of course I am only me, so it is hard to tell, but this is the second time recently that something has really just sunk deep in my heart like that. On the side street, perpendicular to the street on which I was driving, I saw a group of people seemingly walking home, followed by one person in a power wheelchair, carrying a bag of groceries. I imagined that this person had driven from their home to Harris Teeter (which was very near by), done their grocery shopping, and was on their way home with their packages. Or, perhaps, that this person was trying to catch up to the friends in front, who had all gone to the store together.

In this moment, I felt joy - and sorrow - I wanted to laugh just as much as I wanted to cry. First, I think part of this comes from the fact that I miss being able to walk everywhere in my little mountain town. And I love when people do walk places, or in this case, ride. I was also so proud of this person who I can only assume has limited mobility, and yet seems to have taken full advantage of life and the world around him, and has not let limitations be limitations. I just imagine how strong this person must be - there are so many people who seem to have "everything" and yet spend their days at home. I don't mean to say that this person was at any kind of a disadvantage, but only to say that there was something about the spirit of this man that really moved deeply in me. Even from across the street. And I thought, this is the kind of person I want to befriend.

This happened a few weeks ago, too, as I mentioned earlier. I was working as a cashier, and had a customer come to my register who was purchasing a new pair of shoes, socks, and insoles. This was an older man, but not too old - maybe in his fifties? He put the shoe box on the counter, along with just the packaging for the socks and insoles. I opened the box to make sure the shoes were the same size and matched the box, and inside I saw an old, faded, and worn pair of tennis shoes. He smiled in a proud and subtle way, and said that he was already wearing the shoes. I said "and I'm guessing that's where the missing socks and insoles are, too?" and he smiled back. After I finished the transaction, the man left, with his old shoes in hand, seeming just as happy as could be in his new shoes, as though an aura of peace was just glowing around him, and walking with just a bit more lightness in his step, almost a small bounce, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. For whatever reason, I have not been able to stop thinking about this since, nor have I been able to let go of the image in my mind, of his smile and of the feeling that I got when he told me that the shoes were on his feet. I want to know more. And more, and more. I am hungry.

There are certain moments, certain people, certain events, that seem to put a small fold in the pages of my life. Things that cannot be erased, cannot be undone. Does this happen to you? 


“Love the world and yourself in it, move through it as though it offers no resistance, as though the world is your natural element.”

Monday, February 24, 2014

Magic in the Making

Little did I know when I made my New Years Resolution how wonderfully and tragically prophetic it would be.
Thus far in 2014, I have said goodbye to friends and family on the east coast and packed my bags to move to San Diego, California - then, within 12 hours subsequently unpacked my bags and said "hello, again" to those same friends. I have applied and interviewed for several jobs, been offered a few, turned down some, got one job (without understanding that I had the job), been told I could start, and that I could start, and that I could start (and still couldn't start), found out my paperwork was lost, started another part-time job, auditioned, was cast, and began rehearsing for a play, found out my paperwork was found, attended a new substitute teacher orientation, showed up for my first day of subbing, and was told to go back home. I have made friends, lost friends, remembered friends, enjoyed spending time with family, been driven crazy by spending a LOT of time with family, and been thankful in each and every moment. If I had any idea what was going to come next, I would surely tell you - and if you have any idea what is going to come next, I surely hope that you would tell me.

This seems to be a season of patience. Or, perhaps, impatience at times.... often, maybe. But it is also a season of growth - the kind of growth that happens underground, before you see the seed turn into a sprout, turn into a flower. I am the seed in the fertile soil, buzzing and pulsing with energy and light, preparing for the emergence into the big, bright world that lies ahead. And, I have a feeling, it is going to take a big push to get me to begin. But right now, all focus lies on the Magic in the Making.

Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
[Isaiah 40:28]

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Ramblings for a Snowy Saturday

As far as the substitute teaching is concerned, things did not go as planned. My paperwork was temporarily misplaced, although I assume it has been found now, because I have finally been invited to the new sub orientation, which was scheduled for a snow day, and therefore cancelled. Sometime on Monday or Tuesday, I suppose, I will be getting an email about when the rescheduled orientation will take place. However, in order to complete the paperwork for the orientation, I have to find a doctor to sign off on a health examination form, which will likely take more than one day to arrange.

Now, the trouble here is the fact that I have also started a new part-time job working as a cashier. Glamorous? Maybe not. But I like it so far. I put in my schedule assuming I would not be subbing, so for the next few weeks I have already made commitments to that job - yesterday I put in a new schedule for March assuming that I WILL be subbing (but who knows if that will really even come through?!) It is a bit frustrating at times, because I am doing my best to juggle several things at once, without really knowing all the information about some of those things - namely, the substitute teaching. But I am just hoping that the timing will work out alright, and the overlap between the subbing, second job, and the show I'm working on will be minimized : ) That being said, March is going to be a challenging month.

The other thing that I wanted to talk about in this post was - you guessed it - Valentine's Day. I have a little bone to pick with the universe about this day. Okay, first of all, this is NOT female appreciation day. Like, have you seen any men receiving flowers and cards and chocolates and things? I haven't! But WHY? This really irritates me. First of all, no, I didn't do anything for Valentine's Day yesterday, except receive my diploma and a really lovely unexpected letter. But I thought about it! And if I was gonna go see a man, I sure as heck wasn't gonna show up empty handed. Show people you love them - however you do it best, do it. Don't expect to receive. I also saw this quote about how the quality of your life is not measured by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others...?! Well, my friend, that is not in your control, and I beg to disagree. Love - as much, as often, and as generously as you can. Even more, when you think you can't. (Loving yourself counts, too!) I'll say it again, and again:

Do everything in Love.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Please, please, do everything in love.

Friends, something is happening in this world. People think it's not right for a girl to cut off all her hair, and attack a boy for watching My Little Pony. We keep things for ourselves, and deprive the needy of their most basic human rights. We make ourselves busy busy busy to distract our minds from the brokenness that is going on all around us. We whine about everyone getting married and having kids, and yet we struggle to even love on the least of these. What kind of world are we living in?

We live in a broken world. We live in a broken world. We live in a broken world - OF COURSE we live in a broken world, but what are YOU going to DO about it? We are broken people, redeemed by Grace that we don't deserve - USE IT. Just love on someone today. If you do anything, just do it in love - do everything in love.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Cor 4:18

Thank goodness.

Friday, January 31, 2014

From Student Teacher to Substitute Teacher - - ?

Hello, all.
These past few weeks since I found out I would not be going to California have been interesting, to say the least. I auditioned for a play, was cast, and began rehearsing. For this I am extremely thankful, although admittedly, equally overwhelmed. I have interviewed for several jobs and applied for what seems like a thousand. I was denied a long-term substitute teaching job at a middle school, and I was offered two jobs at an after school program. But what I intend to tell you in this post is that, if all goes as planned, I will soon be taking on the responsibility of teaching high school honors English III. You may be thinking to yourself, "WHAT?" and rest assured, I am having the same thoughts. I don't know how to teach English - do I? Probably not. But can I figure it out? Let's hope so.
So, how did this come to be? By the kindness of strangers, mostly. And who am I to deny such generosity and trust instilled in my ability to hold precious futures in the palm of my hands? Truly, I am terrified. Petrified, almost. Yes - I do mean petrified, almost to the point of losing the ability to move. I do not know what I want; I do not know what to do; I do not know if I am capable - but in the wise words of a gentle leader, "Let God be Your God." Who am I to think that this is all in my hands? Of course I am incapable of changing anything on my own. Of course I don't know how to teach English - I didn't study it. Of course I have no idea what I'm doing. And of course, given the opportunity, I will do it anyway. Because my hands are in the hands of the One who created it all.
At times like this, when my spirit is frayed with anxiety and fear, I must remember the Great Truth. 

Be still, Laura, and know that I am God.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

#tbt

Remember the very first day of student teaching? : )

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Expect the Unexpected

48 hours ago, I received a phone call letting me know that Invisible Children would not be able to offer my internship this semester.

48 hours before that, I was having a going away dinner with a few of my friends.

And now, I am sitting on the couch in the living room of the house where I grew up, after a gorgeous 5-mile run and a refreshing shower.

48 hours from now, there's no telling what might happen.

Life is a really strange thing. In a way, it is comforting to know that the plans we make for ourselves are just that - we can talk and talk but the truth is that we don't know what's to come any more than the next person does. And so, we learn to adapt, to be willing to say "yes" to opportunity, and to be free from expectation and uncertainty. And that is something I cannot complain about.

As for what comes next, I will tell you candidly that I have no idea. I plan to apply for the substitute teaching list in my county, and I am considering auditioning for a play. I've contact a few tutoring agencies about finding work, and have emailed one elementary school principal about a possible job opportunity. But the truth is, I just don't know. How long will I be in Raleigh? Will I ever leave my house? Should I start considering alternative options for housing? Should I be thinking about grad school? What can I actually commit to, when I can't even tell you what I'm having for dinner tonight?

But I am not disappointed. I am grateful. I am learning to take things day by day, facing each challenge as it comes. My parents have been incredibly gracious to let me stay in their house for free, and I am not at a loss for not being in San Diego. In fact, the weather here has been almost similar the last few days : )

God has His plans. I'm just here to follow them. And I am grateful.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The Story of Stuff

So as spring turns to summer, and summer to fall, I slowly surrender the meaning-full bliss of student teaching to the world of a memory, and take on my new hat of Invisible Children, with as much courage and surefootedness as I can muster - all the while tinged with a bit of sadness for the days gone by.

Today as I was in my room, drinking coffee [thinking that it would calm my nerves in the same way that tea is said to] I suddenly remembered a perfectly overwhelming and yet somehow serene moment. Eight months ago, I was sitting on the doorstep of my apartment in the mountains, eating a box of popsicles in the summer sunshine, because I couldn't take another moment of trying to pack two years of my life into a tiny car, and because I didn't know what else to do. Inside the apartment, to my back, was a living room full of various things, collected from various places at various times, things that up until this point had made up a large part of my existence. Blankets, clothes, kitchen appliances, posters, photos. And in front of me, nothing but the cool breeze and the sight of a mountain, so much larger than life. And little did I know, in that very moment, that everything truly would be alright. For now. And yet, in so many ways, it wasn't. For a while.

Life is cyclical, in the most magical of ways. We receive a message from the world [from this world, mind you, and yet there are so many more] and all too often, we believe it. Maybe it's true. Maybe it's not. Is it good for you? I don't know.

All this to say that today, as I woke up immediately in a panic and proceeded to find little ways to distract my mind and attempt to put a band-aid on my spirit, I remembered feeling the same way, so many moments ago - somewhere in a foreign world that is somehow out of reach. For now. And yet - there it was - alive and real, for a fleeting beating of the heart.

Life is also beautiful, in the most tragic and terrible of ways. You know how people sometimes say things like "I miss you terribly"? Isn't it terrible to miss someone? Absolutely terrible, and in the same moment, completely and purely beautiful. The same with life, I think. Sometimes beauty makes me cry. Things that are terrible, things that are beautiful, they move deeply in the spirit.

All this to say that a lot of things are really terrifying, and then they are okay, because they keep moving. Things happen time and again, and we grow (we hope) and we change (we think) and we move (we do).

New Year's Resolution: Be Patient, Ophelia. Do not forget.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” [Isaiah 30:21]

If you're unhappy, pray. Even if you're happy.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

The Transition

Perhaps I should change the title of this blog to "Lessons from a Student/Teacher". Because I am constantly a student of one thing or another... the teacher part is questionable (at least until I get my certificate in the mail!) 

Anyway, let's talk about the great things that happened over this past semester:

1. Placement that allowed me to live at home
2. Amazing students
3. Number 2 really sums up a lot of things
4. Life-change
5. Not the summer anymore
6. Passed all 3 of my Praxis exams (received double certification in Theatre K-12 and English 7-12)
7. Graduated (actually passed)
8. Had a really cool university supervisor
9. Lived surrounded by a lot of love
10. Had a month of vacation.

And now, you may ask, now what? What comes next? Well here I am to tell you just that - on Saturday (THIS SATURDAY) I will be flying out to San Diego, California to begin an internship with Invisible Children. And I am terrified. But I'm not going to talk about the things that scare me (because doesn't that suggest a lack of trust?) Instead I am going to talk about the important things:

1. I am trying something new
2. I will explore a new city
3. I will meet new people
4. I will take a risk
5. I will learn to live away from home
6. I will work primarily with adults (this is new)
7. I will prepare for future risky and potentially terrifying adventures
8. I will learn to live with less
9. I will travel
10. I will not be alone.

Big things are happening. I would very much appreciate prayers and good thoughts sent this way as I prepare for this journey. I can't say much more right now, because the truth is that there is a lot of uncertainty surrounding this next step, and I want to stay open to all possibilities of what is to come. Anticipation is a scary thing.

4 months. Here we go.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." [Jeremiah 29:11]

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Sweet Souls


It is really incredible to realize how much I can actually miss my sweet angels. They did more for me than they will ever know. My students saved me. I will say it again and again.

Monday, December 16, 2013

This may be a blurry photo, but it nearly captures the way that graduation feels.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Closing Night

It seems surreal that this entire semester has come to a close. And not only that, but my entire college career - my life up to this point, it has all led up to this day, and what is past is past. Isn't that bizarre?

I'd like to call this Closing Night. Every show must begin, and every show must come to an end, because what is forever is not what is treasured. Rather, those things that are but fleeting - those are what make us who we are. These moments that impact our lives in an earth-shifting sort of way, that change the shape of our eyes, change the movement of the air through our lungs, those are the moments that matter.

And we, indeed, are the lucky ones.

I have a hard time finding the words to say to summarize this experience. Today was a beautiful day. From the first tear-filled "hello" to the last tear-filled "good-bye," I will never run short on my list of "Reasons To Be Thankful."

I've been thinking for a while about what to leave you with in this blog - I began to type some quotes from the letters I received, but ended up feeling that they were too personal, too sweet, too close to home. The things these sweet hearts said, that the took the time to think through and write down, and ultimately to give - to me - it just fills and breaks my heart. We must remember that everyone has a story - their own story, a unique story, filled with heartbreak and joy, with struggles and victories. And every story - every story - is a love story. And if it's not, then it's just not yet. My story - our stories - this story - is most certainly a love story, and I never knew I could love so much. I never knew time could pass so quickly.

And so, where to go from here?

Every story is a love story.
Measure your life in love.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Today was a great day.

In the words of my bearded friend, "This is your day for astronomical odd-beating."

Let me tell you more.

This morning my co-op teacher was late. Well, while I was waiting in the auditorium, the power went out. In the whole school. And everyone went crazy - in a really fun way! So my morning started with a whole lotta playing and a whole lotta joy.

The power stayed out through first period, when I was being observed by my university supervisor (ha!) so we moved into the courtyard, where the students took a quiz and performed the first round of monologues - and I was very happy with the way they turned out! 6/29 down!

We were told to stay in first period until further notice, due to the electricity issue, but the lights came back on toward the end of first period. After that, I had my conference with my supervisor, received the last document I need to submit all of my work for the semester, and then before he left, he offered to help me get in contact with a friend who lives in my future city (to be disclosed at a later date! Stay tuned!) So this is encouraging!

In technical theatre class, I learned about a program called Show Ready, which allows you to play the accompaniment track for all of the music from a show, and you can even select which layers you want to hear - so, for example, you could play just your melody line, practice, then your melody with the piano, then add the alto line, etc. You could also play all of the parts except for your own (even if you are in the chorus!!) and practice your notes - this is everything that I have needed for all of my life!!!! I am so thrilled!!!!

In tech, I also started playing this silly game with one of my students - you have to make eye contact with someone, count to three, and spontaneously say the same word at the same time. I have played this game for a while, and obviously the chances of saying the same word with no prior information are extremely slim. And when I say extremely, I mean astronomically.

In Theatre II, we were missing two students, so I got to join in one of the Shakespeare sword fighting insult scenes, which was awesome!! And the power went off again. And everyone went crazy, and started shouting and running around, and spooning on the floor (what?) It was hilarious.

THEN

RIGHT AT THE END OF THE DAY

I tried to play the 1-2-3 game with the same student from tech, and we decided to narrow down the options by category so that we could possibly train ourselves to have the same brain. Well, it still didn't work - 

UNTIL!

Another student came up to ask what we were doing. I said "On the count of three, say the same word as me. 1-2-3-SALTINE!"

WE BOTH SAID SALTINE. This has never happened - IN. MY. LIFE.

Addendum: Earlier, this same student and I made the same joke at the same time, and discovered we both love Fig Newtons!

This was a magical day. The odds - ASTRONOMICAL - and yet, it gets better.

On the way home, I decided to stop at the store to pick up a few things, so I moved to the right lane on the highway, where I passed a car that was pulled over on the side - I know, you are supposed to leave a lane between your car and the edge when that happens, but I had to exit. But then, I passed not one, not two, not three, but FOUR MORE CARS ON THE SIDE. All unrelated, all within the 2 1/4 miles between when I moved into the right lane and when I exited the highway! WHAT!

Then, I decided that naturally, I had to buy a lottery ticket. Unfortunately, I did not realize that tonight is the drawing, so I bought a scratch off ticket with my last two dollars - I did not know at the time that the actual lottery ticket costs $2, or I would have bought that, and I think I would have won. However, under astronomically unlikely circumstances, I missed this information, bought a scratch off ticket, and LOST! On my lucky day! What are the odds!

Then, thinking it couldn't get any more unlikely, I got home to find that a Christmas card I sent out had been chewed up in the mail and returned! How often does that happen? So I wrote a note about it, put it in a new envelope, and resent it. About that time, my mother returned home and said "I have something for you"....

AND IT WAS THIS DOUGHNUT. From Krispy Kreme, of all places!

THIS WAS A GREAT DAY OF ASTRONOMICALLY ODD-DEFYING EVENTS.
I am in awe.
And delighted.
And still just mind-blown about the saltines.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Idleness is my enemy

Praxis Updates: So far I'm 2 for 2 - passed the PLT 7-12 exam!! The last test is a week from Thursday. Here we goooo!

Additionally, it has come to my attention that I only have six days remaining in the classroom, and I am both confused and horrified at this realization. I am also unsure of how to approach this situation. We are transitioning back to my co-op teacher leading all lessons, and that's really weird, because I just sit back and watch (or participate, more often), but the transition seemed to happen really fast for me, and I wonder if it happened so fast for the students? But I guess it is better than suddenly leaving next week with no further explanation... although I might actually like that better, because I can stay busy right up until the end, the way I like to be. I think idleness is my enemy. (Hence the title of this post - I just made that discovery, right now, as I was writing this. That's pretty amazing.)

So my mind has been rather scattered in recent days, as I think you can see. My emotions are registering high on the Richter scale, and I'm not sure how to cope. Except to keep on living, and laughing, and loving.

I think it is really important to surround yourself with your blessings - do not allow yourself to forget the ways you are warm. And measure your life in love. Always, always, measure in love. In that way, I am very rich.

It is nearly unbelievable to think of how quickly this semester flew by. It feels like just yesterday, or at least last week, that I was jump starting my car on the first teacher workday, back on August 19th. Can you imagine! And to think of how much has happened between then and now...?

It seems that I have nothing cohesive to say, except for this:

I am blessed. Incredibly.

How can you sleep at a time like this unless the dreamer is the real you?

"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands."

Saturday, November 30, 2013

I'M GONNA PASS COLLEGE (8 days left)

I've submitted all of my assignments (aside from the ever-confusing tk-20 student teaching binder), and received an "outstanding" or "satisfactory" on all of them, and so, if all goes as planned, I will pass student teaching! And graduate! YEAH!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Job applications on job applications on job applications

If anyone knows of openings or possible employment opportunities beginning in January, please let me know!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Update on a sweet child.

Do you remember my sweet girl that I told you about, whose brother passed away recently? She was the one playing in the wheel chair? Well, on that day I felt as though I may have missed an opportunity to reach out to her, and I was worried that the chance may not come again - BUT! Hallelujah, today is the day of the open door!!

My Theatre II class is currently finishing a Musical Theatre unit in which they are required to sing 16-32 bars of a musical theatre song (preparation for auditions, should they ever be asked to sing... could I possibly say "Musical Theatre" one more time in this sentence?) Practical, certainly. The students were allowed to choose any musical theatre song that they like, pending approval from me. This student, I remember, actually on the day when she was rolling around in the wheelchair, had a particularly difficult time choosing a song, but on that day I encouraged her to choose any song that she loved, and was passionate about, and I was sure that it would become the right choice.

I believe I told you, too, that she had previously asked me if it was okay to sing the song to someone who is dead. So, I had a feeling that this was coming, but I seemed to have forgotten all about it - but yesterday, the students had to perform the lyrics to their song as a monologue, to demonstrate acting choices that they will then transfer to their song on Friday. And let me tell you - hers was moving. I mean, really. I had read the lyrics to her song prior, but to hear her speak the words - with such truth, such honesty, such vulnerability - beautiful.

Then, today I was looking through her paperwork as I was grading the assignments, and she had written me a note - "Please don't think I'm crazy for singing to someone who is dead - I'm not crazy." No, sweet heart. You're not.

In reading her analysis, she confessed so many thoughts and struggles, and to tell the truth, it was more of a journal than a homework assignment - and I am so, so grateful. I was not sure how to approach her about it, but I did tell her that she's not crazy - because she is not. And I wrote on her assignment that her brother is a perfect scene partner for this song. Because he is.

After school today, I was helping another student figure out timing for her song, and I asked the few who were left waiting for their parents if they wanted to sing through their songs for me as well. This student said yes immediately, and performed a beautiful, beautiful, rendition of Patterns from Closer Than Ever. I have never heard the recording from the musical, but honestly I could not imagine anyone else singing it now. The maturity and love that came pouring out of that 15-year-old girl was just heartbreaking... and inspiring. "Filling" may be the only truly suitable word for how I feel.

On Friday (or perhaps Monday) she will be performing for the rest of the class - and I can't wait to thank her for her heart. To tell her that it is so beautiful and powerful to use her story and her love for her brother to make music - to make art. And that, my friends, is what this is all about. That is why we are here. That is why the arts are important - because they are a way for us to fill in the gaps in our souls, to fill them up with music and life, and to pour it out onto others. 

The arts are important, because they allow us to live. And they allow us to sing - no matter what comes, we can still sing

And sing, we will, sweet child. Sing, we will.